Thursday, July 28, 2005
NOT ALL JOKES ARE ALL THAT THEY CAN BE!
NOT ALL JOKES ARE ALL THAT THEY CAN BE!
Author Unknown
Jul 28, 2005
A man ran furiously along the dock to the ferry boat slip. He made a
tremendous jump over twelve feet of water and landed with a painful
crash on the deck of the ferry. As he lay there rubbing his injured
leg, one of the deckhands went to his side, took him by the arm, helped
him up and said, "You didn't have to do that, buddy. The boat wasn't
going out, it was coming in."
After listening to her suitor's marriage proposal, a woman tried to be
subtle in her response, but it was difficult. "I'm sorry, John," she
said, "but I simply cannot be your wife." "Why not?" John demanded to
know. "Is there someone else?" "Oh, John," the young woman replied,
"There must be."
A little girl was leafing through a children's book of illustrated
Bible stories. When she came to the story of the loaves and fishes, the
stopped turning the pages and began gazing intently at the illustration
of Jesus standing before the great crowd, and breaking bread. Seeing
the child's fascination with the picture, her mother explained that
this wasn't the real Jesus, only an artist's conception of Him. Still
staring at the picture, the child replied, "Well, it sure looks like
Him."
A wife was corresponding with her husband who was serving time in
prison for armed robbery. "When is the best time to plant the
potatoes?" she asked. The husband wrote back, "Don't dig in the potato
patch now. That's where I hid all my guns." The prison mail was
censored, of course, and soon the potato patch in question was being
dug up by a whole squad of policemen. But there were no guns to be
found. Again, the wife wrote to her husband in prison. "They dug up the
whole potato patch" she complained. Whereupon, the crafty husband wrote
back, "The patch is ready. You can plant the potatoes now."
There was a seminary professor who was much admired by his students
because he always managed to keep his spiritual vitality at a high
peak; he had found rest for his soul. Clearly, he was a man whose
burden was light. One day, a student plagued by anxiety came to him and
said: "You always seem so secure and at peace with yourself, how do you
do it?" The professor answered, "By praying and reading the bible and
going to church. I let everyday things speak to me about God. For
example, I walk in the rain and throw my head back and let the
raindrops fall on my face and I get a revelation." Sometime later, the
student met the professor again. The student said, "Tried to follow
your example. I took a long walk in the rain and I threw my head back
and I let the raindrops fall on my face and the water ran down my neck
and I didn't get any revelation and I felt like a fool" "Well," the
professor replied, "What more of a revelation than that do you want for
the first time?"
PRAYER
"Lord, put within my heart a burning desire to be changed and
transformed into your holiness. Let your Holy Spirit change my heart
and renew me in your love and righteousness.
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