Friday, June 17, 2005
AVOIDING EMOTIONAL ADULTERY
By Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Moments Together (excerpt)
It is far easier to commit emotional adultery than you may realize. You may be converging on a chemical reaction with another person when:
* You've got a need you feel your mate isn't meeting -- a need for attention, approval or affection, for example.
*You find it easier to unwind with someone other than your spouse by dissecting the day's difficulties over lunch, coffee or a ride home.
* You begin to talk about problems you are having with your spouse.
* You rationalize the propriety of this relationship with the opposite sex by saying that surely it must be God's will to talk so openly and honestly with a fellow Christian.
* You look forward to being with this person more than with your own mate.
* You hide the relationship from your mate.
When you find yourself connecting with another person as a substitute, you've started traveling a road that ends too often in adultery and divorce. But how do you protect yourself to keep this from occurring?
KEEP YOUR BOUNDARIES. You should put fences around your heart that protect sacred ground, reserved only for your spouse. Barbara and I are careful to show our deepest feelings, needs and difficulties with each other, and not with friends of the opposite sex.
REALIZE THE POWER OF YOUR EYES. As has been said, your eyes are the windows to your heart. Pull the shades down if you sense someone is pausing a little too long in front of your windows.
BEWARE OF ISOLATION & CONCEALMENT. One strategy of the enemy is to isolate you from your spouse, especially by inducing you to keep secrets from your mate.
EXTINGUISH CHEMICAL REACTIONS that have already begun. A friendship with with the opposite sex that meets the needs your mate should be meeting must be ended quickly. It may be a painful loss at first, but it isn't as painful as dealing with the wreckage caused by a sinful relationship.
PRAY DAILY that God would "keep you from stumbling."
It is far easier to commit emotional adultery than you may realize. You may be converging on a chemical reaction with another person when:
* You've got a need you feel your mate isn't meeting -- a need for attention, approval or affection, for example.
*You find it easier to unwind with someone other than your spouse by dissecting the day's difficulties over lunch, coffee or a ride home.
* You begin to talk about problems you are having with your spouse.
* You rationalize the propriety of this relationship with the opposite sex by saying that surely it must be God's will to talk so openly and honestly with a fellow Christian.
* You look forward to being with this person more than with your own mate.
* You hide the relationship from your mate.
When you find yourself connecting with another person as a substitute, you've started traveling a road that ends too often in adultery and divorce. But how do you protect yourself to keep this from occurring?
KEEP YOUR BOUNDARIES. You should put fences around your heart that protect sacred ground, reserved only for your spouse. Barbara and I are careful to show our deepest feelings, needs and difficulties with each other, and not with friends of the opposite sex.
REALIZE THE POWER OF YOUR EYES. As has been said, your eyes are the windows to your heart. Pull the shades down if you sense someone is pausing a little too long in front of your windows.
BEWARE OF ISOLATION & CONCEALMENT. One strategy of the enemy is to isolate you from your spouse, especially by inducing you to keep secrets from your mate.
EXTINGUISH CHEMICAL REACTIONS that have already begun. A friendship with with the opposite sex that meets the needs your mate should be meeting must be ended quickly. It may be a painful loss at first, but it isn't as painful as dealing with the wreckage caused by a sinful relationship.
PRAY DAILY that God would "keep you from stumbling."
# posted by F O O D F O R T H O U G H T @ 9:02 PM 
