FOODFORTHOUGHT

By Marjorie Holmes, Nobody Else Will Listen

Dear God,

Please help me overcome jealousy. It's like a sickness, it torments me, and yet there is an awful fascination about it too. I almost crave the pain and that's what scares me. I've got to get rid of it, God, or my life will be ruined.

I'm jealous of my sister, all the attention she gets, her popularity. I'm jealous of my friends, I don't want them to like each other, only me. And this boy,--I'm so jealous of him I could die.

I know that's why I lost him. I was so scared, so suspicious and possessive I made us both miserable. And now that he's dropped me for another girl my heart is stabbed. When I see them together I feel choked, my voice shakes--and my knees. I do stupid things, I talk and laugh too loud to call attention to myself. Or I sulk, knowing my bitterness is showing in my eyes. Don't let me be like this, Lord. I hate it in myself and know it makes me hateful to others. It's driving away the very people I want to love me!

Cure me of this ugly sickness, please. Maybe just confessing it will help me to understand it better, be the first step toward being free. Is it because I don't like myself enough to think that other people can really like me? Is that why I'm so scared of losing them, Lord, because I feel unworthy? Whatever it is, help me to get over it, starting now. Give me a cheerful, healthy self-respect so strong I won't have to stoop to jealousy.

I feel better already. I feel relived, reborn, almost gay.

Thank You for freeing me, I hope, forever, from jealousy.