Wednesday, March 22, 2006
LEARNING THE GREAT TRUTHS
| F O O D F O R T H O U G H T |  |
| Subscribe Unsubscribe Change E-mail View Archive LEARNING THE GREAT TRUTHS Author Unknown |
GREAT TRUTHS CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. When your mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask your three year old brother to hold a tomato. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. Never hold a Dust Buster and a cat at the same time. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. Wrinkles don’t hurt. Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few nuts. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground. Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got on a roller coaster. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. During the priest’s homily, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary’s mother was horrified. After church she asked him, “What ever made you do a thing like that?” Gary answered soberly, “I asked God to teach me to whistle and then He just did!” A Pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. “Yes sir,” the boy replied. “And do you always say them in the morning, too?” the Pastor asked. “No sir,” the boy replied. “I ain’t scared in the daytime.” PRAYER: "Lord Jesus, you died that I might live forever in your kingdom of peace and righteousness. Strengthen my faith that I may I know the power of your resurrection and live in the hope of seeing you face to face for ever." --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "F O O D F O R T H O U G H T" group. To subscribe: subscribe@dailyfoodforthought.org To unsubscribe from this group, send email to DailyFoodForThought-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com For more options, visit this group at DISCLAIMER: FoodForThought shared this message as submitted and do not claim to own any copyright privileges on it. All the messages are believed to be free for circulation or public domain. All messages come in either by email in original form or copied from the internet sites. The work was submitted to us as an item for distribution, and it was posted solely on the basis of its quality. It's a FREE service. © 2006 FoodForThought -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
