FOODFORTHOUGHT

Excerpts from "Who Am I God?"

My father has come to live with us, Lord. And we love him. We tell
him, and ourselves, that we want him. But it is hard, so hard on all
of us. Nobody is interested in his stories, which we have heard too
often. He gets in the way when company is here. He gets underfoot
in the kitchen. He drops things, spills things. He broke my
favorite dish and I had to bite my tongue. He was so contrite, so
pathetic trying to mend it. His hands shake, Lord. Those dear hands
that worked so hard for us.

He gets out his wallet or his old-fashioned snap purse and gives the
children money, though I have asked him not to. He can't afford it,
and it isn't good for them. Then I remember when those hands were
strong and proud, the source of plenty. I remember when he was a
hero to us, as he wants to be a hero to my children. I see how those
hands tremble and I can't stand it.

My father, my own dear father, Lord. And I simply don't have time
for him...Those weeks he was ill he clung to me so eagerly...I'm
haunted by the specter of a long illness, Lord. Sometimes, forgive
me, of the unfairness of this burden when we still have our family to
think of. Our family...just as once he had his. To support, to break
his back for without complaining. And not only us -- he was so good
to his father and mother. Oh, God, when I think I can't endure this,
let me remember how good he was to my grandparents.

How can I even speak of fairness if I complain at my turn to take
care of the father who took care of all of us so long, and did it
with so much less? Dear Lord, please let the deep love and
gratefulness I have for my father be paramount. Let it fill me, guide
me, help me to triumph over these personal conflicts. Give me
compassion. Give me understanding. My heart breaks for him...

For I see him as the true source of me. This man whose intense love
for her [my mother] brought me into existence... Who am I? I am a
child of my father, this father under my roof, close enough to
touch...His strong daily living example helped to shaped the person I
have become.

Oh, dear heavenly Father, thank you for this father made in your
image here on earth. For giving me this opportunity to know him,
love him, revere him. To make his final days as pleasant as possible
before he goes to join her, his wife, my mother, the woman he loved so
much.

PRAYER
"Lord, in love you have called me to live for your praise and glory. May I always find joy in your presence and trust in your wise and loving plan for my life."

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